Should I ever refuse to marry a couple?

I am a wedding officiant.  I’ve only been doing this for about half a year, but I’ve married about 40 couples so far and I have 15 scheduled in the coming months.

It’s immensely rewarding.  It’s wonderful to be part of one of the most significant moments of a couple’s life and see them smile and get overtaken with emotion as they say their vows.

Most of the couples I’ve been marrying are same-sex couples who, in most cases, have waited many years to finally be able to get married.  Some of them didn’t think that day would ever come in their lifetime.  For couples who have already been together for 10, 20, 30, and even 44 years (my record to date), there’s little doubt that their marriage will work out just fine.

It’s fun to observe the special dynamic that exists between the two partners.  It’s a little different for each couple, but it’s there.  I can see it in the way they joke with each other, make decisions with each other, and even gently push each other’s buttons.  In every couple I’ve been privileged to marry so far, I’ve had no doubt whatsoever that they belong together.

But recently, I have encountered a situation that has forced me to ask myself a difficult question:  are there any circumstances under which I should refuse to marry a couple?

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